It used to be that Oak Creek canyon would begin to feel suffocating after a few days spent crawling around like an ant at the bottom. Restlessness would begin to set in my bones and I'd want to escape to the wide open.
Now, I know it's embrace was only meant to hold me until I stopped squirming from the fruitless busyness of my mind. It holds me like Zander holds the children when they are having a complete utter melt downs. Once I'm swaddled in emerald trees and the glowing rose of the canyon walls, I stop fighting. I think I just might be learning how to be a child again: puttering around in an orchard, stopping for what seems like eons to let a snail pass, watching movie after movie not caring about the latest child development research, napping, snacking, playing, making unbeautiful messes..
And lets not kid ourselves, this is the reality of living with Calamity Cora these days.
Of this picture Zander says. "you're welcome"
Sam would sleep so his siblings could terrorize the pristine creek.
Our days could have stretched into months, but we ran out of food.
1 comment:
i love this one too.
oh, pal. those post partum days are so, so hard. keep hanging on.
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