They are gone. All of them. Well.... here's a little secret. Currently, they are all stashed in my underwear drawer. It was a last ditch attempt to get them out of sight from bleary and teary eyed Cora.
Let me take you back a bit....
One day I was gazing out the living room window while Cora was on the couch reading. I was ruminating about my own frustrations and false ideas of personal progress when I heard that irritating sucking sound. I turned and saw Cora had snuck a fist full of poppies (house rules: She can't have them during the day) and was going to town on them.
"That's it! I'm getting rid of those fake rubber nipples and I will claim this victory as mine!"
I called Zander up at work to not ask, but warn him of my plan, of one of the most decisively fell swoops this home has ever seen"
Was I too late? "Whoa, Leslie, what are you thinking?! Do you really want to do it now?" The evil of the poppy had gotten to Zander too.
"YES! There is no talking me out of it!"
"No no no."
"Yes yes yes, Zander"
"Well, just save one, just in case"
"Just in case for what?! Just in case there is a shortage on nipples in this world?! They are absolutely the most obsolete parenting tool in our lives are right now." Besides I needed this. I needed a win.
Click of the receiver.
That night the grim reaper of the poppies visited our home. Well, Grim reaper, angel, Jesus depends on who you ask :)
Cora wept and wailed, begged and pleaded, threatened to never sleep again, etc. It wasnt until Zander saw the poppies for what they truly were to her and he proceeded to give a small eulogy. He empathized with her loss and in a sweet embrace, felt a sigh of acceptance from her flustered frame.
I concocted a quick sappy tale of the fairies coming to our house and asking for poppy donations for their little ones. That ticked her off. ha!
So ends the Age of the Poppies.