God looked and saw a very pathetic girl. Her eyes tended to roll backward and inward instead of out and up like the other little girls at school. Her legs were sturdy and fast, but ran to no where. At the tip of her nose was always a book titled Escape.
"Hmm." thought He.
He called out into the great light of stars and planets and soon three sages appeared at His feet.
"I have a very humble mission for you. You will go and teach one of my wayward daughters about Me and how much I love her. You will find her on the outskirts, easily recognizable as the stubborn ass. You might even find her donning a tail and little hairy ears. Draw her back in again. There is no fame and glory in this quest for you or her. Nevertheless, go and bring her back to me."
With a great sigh the three sages departed. One, Two, Three they came.
I'm not entirely confident they are taking their job seriously anymore.....