Today he left on a fly fishing trip with his dad up at Lee's Ferry. As I send him off once again on another adventure without me, i remember what Davy (A Severe Mercy) told her love when she could not go with him everywhere....
"I'd rather hear about it than not experience it at all, " she said. "Besides, isn't that what Peter Ibbetson and Mimsey did? Showing each other in dreams all they experienced? You can make me see- you're good at that."
There was a season this spring that zander went rock climbing a lot! And it was hard. My flesh cried out and became jealous and resentful of my "lot" in life, a mother. haha whoa that sounds obnoxiously terrible. But my spirit fought and fought because the truth is I love Zander, I love his spirit his imagination his desires and whims. And he loves mine. So to the great beyond we fly! Together. Body or Spirit, we are together in each other's travels.
*And just so we are clear: Ender is the most interesting fellow I have come across this side of glory. I am enamoured and perplexed at his existence. And to be his motherly steward is a heavenly honor i cherish. I have never regretted this tot intervening in my life. He caught me from a falling and holds me steady.