i've always been a big fan of hospital fashion for babies.  when did they come out with their line of vintage big bows for baby girls? 

The Well Digger's Daughter

Yesterday while our sprawling metropolis was undergoing the most unusual weather with hail and sleet of the sort, Cora & I were bundled up watching The Well Digger's Daughter. A French film that, surprisingly, had zero nudity or unsightly female body hair in it. In the end, it wasn't a Parisian fling, but commitment to the family. A very simple story drenched in warm sunlight that I could get lost in for the afternoon.
I have been cooped up in my home for the past two months trying to avoid the plague as a pregnant gal and now as one with a newborn and two year old. It is getting to me in the worst of ways.
I long to throw my kids in the car and drive far away from these walls.
Oh, but when Zander comes home, he smells of fresh air and wild adventure. Yes yes, he has only been at work, but he brings a bright light, tales of the world, hope for the future, and joy in my present circumstance

. 

Our neighbor came over this morning to take pictures of me and kids, and she mentioned...
 "Zander, now, I could be wrong, but he seems like such a throw back character.  Someone you would read about in a classic novel.  An old fashion kind of man.  Its interesting, because that is a rare quality in men these days"

How true.

He is currently brewing "bone tea".  Its one thing he is into all of a sudden.  He bought some meat with bone in and was boiling it last night and all day today trying to leech all the under respected nutrients from the marrow and such.  He had Ender take his bone "tonic" that night along with his dose of chamomile tea.  You know, I thought it would be Cora and I with the tea parties, but Zander & Ender beat us to it.  They'll stop whatever they're doing for a sip. 

When Gigi comes over, we rest and I do not do the laundry.

The Lumineers - Ho Hey (Official Video)

Why a photo of a wad of tissue?  Well, because it is now one of the most precious pieces of trash I will harbor until I'm a very old, weird lady.  With all this "baby blues", ender was bound to catch me crying, though I try to hide it from his sweet world. 
"Whats that mama?" He asks pointing to my nonsensical tears. 
"I'm crying Ender" says I.
"Clean it off"
"ok, thats a good idea" replies I
"I better go get a tissue"
He runs to the bathroom and comes back with a wadded up piece of toilet paper, warm and moist from his hot little hands.  I reach for it...
"Let me have it!" And he proceeds to carefully dab everyone of my tears away.  He lingers a little while scrutinizing my eyes to make sure he got every drop wiped away.

And I realized how out of the music scene I am when I begin to discover "new" bands by watching reruns of SNL.  yikes.

 

You make me nervous, you're so chill. 

Placid-suggests an unfruffled calm

 

The clock struck nine and I pulled myself out of bed to wake up ender.  Then Cora, and finally Zander.  Ender stuck with me in the waking world.  Zander and Cora dozed another hour or so.  I don't know how these two find rest with Ender and I clanging around the house.  The clouds in the sky drifted in time with their breathing.  It seemed our whole little world was content being calm.

And yet... I still fear.  I fear unhealthiness, sleeplessness, 'uncreativeness', uselessness, unhappiness, and the -nesses roll on and on. 

Having another baby I find myself having to declare my allegiance again to Jesus and not things of this world.  Though, being a mother is the most fulfilling role I could ever being given on this earth; it also gets very much attacked by lies. 

Before I find my groove once again, I want to dig my roots further down into the good stuff of Jesus.  Only He can carry me through the baby blues, sleepless night, lonely seasons, and relationship challenges.  He is my dearest treasure and companion.

 

Ender is visiting his cousins this afternoon.  That makes me so incredibly happy!  I worry for him.  I want him to experience his family blessings.  Being in isolation is killing me.  Sending Ender out relieves some of my anxiety.  I can handle this quarantine as long as Ender is able to venture out and nourish his spirit. 

 

cora lynn 02.03.13

You made a somewhat surprisingly gentle entrance into this world.  Thank you.  I can only liken you to a sprout pushing up slowly through the soil.  For me being the soil, though, i felt each mineral, nutrient and clod of dirt moving aside.  i will never walk on a patch of dirt the same way again. 

Two photos I wish I had taken were:

1) a hospital scene- the silhouette of cora and grandma by the window with the rainy desert sky adorned in a double stranded rainbow and trees and mountains set ablaze by a setting a sun.

2)  a home scene - Ender, peeking in through our window, looking for his new baby sister.  His blond hair combed, a clean white shirt tucked in his pants, holding a tiny vial of these ambrosial blooms.  I almost started weeping at the sight.