This trip was all about the boys. I found my satisfaction through them. Usually, I can scamper off on my own or with just ender, but behind the scenes I have the sweetest little toad that needs me very much right now.
Here she is. She ravaged me by night and healed me by day. (terrible night sleeper!- we are in the midst of remedying it) We had somewhat of a mini family reunion and while the cousins had free will to adventure on together, I wore the mantle of guardian to the little girl. I had to swallow my selfishness and carry on.
One bright morning, I strapped her to me and we went gathering for wildflowers and creek stones. Her hands grasped at anything; she was eager to hold the world. Overhanging branches, blades of grass, buzzing insects, she reached for them all. She tried grasping for a slender sunbeam, but it slipped through her pudgy fingers and lighted upon her lips and so she smiles. She smiles all day long. My sweet cheesecake. Her warmth is infectious and she soothes my aching soul. I never dreamed a baby, my baby, could do this for me. Shes a dream.
So for now, my journey has come to a quiet pond. Its here I am still with my babies. There will come a time (a time that is speeding like a freight train towards me) where I will have to leave this place and no amount of "freedom" will compare.