Whatever things are lovely

Mornings are the hardest time of day for me.  It seems they have always been.  Today, with kiddos at home, it often is harder.  I don't always have a chance to be around other people to distract me from the unexplainable gloom.  Or I can't get lost in a book or get in the car and just drive. 
Whenever I am feeling sad, angry, frustrated, confused or some other emotion that can warp reality, Zander does a real good job of speaking truth into my life.

"....whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

Thinking is a good exercise, and when the world is shouting at you, sometimes you have to shout back. For me this is turning on the music right when I wake up that sings of whatever things are true.

"Its hard to dance with the devil on you back, so shake him off"  I can't sing this line without crying.  Its so powerful.  
There is power in our words. God spoke and behold  bio synthesis, electricity, deoxyribonucleic acid.  Not to mention this guy!  I believe God empowers us to speak and so shape our world.  It can go either way.

When Cora was a newborn, she was just a spud.  Not much to the gal except some bad gas from 8-11pm every night and I was working though some post par tum blues.  I mean like the navy blues, not a sweet cerulean blue.  Anyhow. Arica walked in on a local band cranking out this tune: 

Cora Belle  <-- and="" click="" listen="" nbsp="" p="">
Let it ring across the dell
I’m in love with Cora Belle
Kissed her once then I kissed her twice
My heart rang like a bell does chime

Hair like autumn cheeks a bloom
Voice sweet as a springtime tune
Come to me my Cora Belle
In this heart forever dwell

You’ve a kindness in your eye
Like the early morning sky
And a smile like the spring
Love it brightens everything

Cora Belle now listen here
This old heart is yours my dear
Rain or shine come sickness health
Still I love my Cora Belle

Sir dear sir hear what I say
She’s to me as light to day
Til the sun falls from the sky
Til my soul to him does fly

You’ve a kindness in your eye
Like the early morning sky
And a smile like the spring
Love it brightens everything

Follow me through valleys deep
Rivers wide and mountains steep
For you know I’d follow you
To the ends of the earth my love be true

Hair like autumn cheeks of bloom
voice sweet as a springtime tune
come to me my cora belle
in this heart forever dwell

You’ve a kindness in your eye
Like the early morning sky
And a smile like the spring
Love it brightens everything

I sang this song over and over again to her.  And wouldn't you know, on March 11th, just 6 weeks old, she sang it back to me.  From that day forward the girl has not stopped smiling.   

potato? peach? its a toss up!

Second Annual Artichoke Roast

Having children is kind of like dying and then being brought back to life.  Its so emotionally, physically, and spiritually arduous.  It can often feel like defeat.  When you have stayed up with them all night, endured the tantrums, the messes, walked a one way road, you appreciate any nugget of beauty and goodness.  (and that often are your babies)  You breathe with your whole being and food that taste good goes straight to your toes.  You see in technicolor.  A stranger's smile makes your day.  A trip to Costco with your mother in law is vacation holiday. 
So man oh man! I was lost in those homegrown artichokes.
Someone I want to be, is the collective selflessness and generosity of my whole family.  Whatever house we are visiting, there is someone who loves and holds cora and who entertains and has patience with ender.  I didn't realize what a tender expression of love it is to offer to hold one's baby while you eat.
I look at both set of my moms and truly truly truly, I want to be just like them.  Sacrificial.  Generous. Wise.  Understanding.  Relaxed around a crying baby. 
I always find myself quoting Rod Stewart, "I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger"  That guy is so weird looking. 
Well, since I can't learn my lessons in advance of my age, I am trying to cheat and look at the answers on my mother's and aunt's paper, namely. 

Choppy thoughts.

Quick synopsis of photos.
Greg and Erin grow delectable artichokes in their garden.  I'm sure they use homegrown fertilizer.  Its an organic perk for potty training a boy... :) 
Noah and Ender have polar opposites personalities, but their love for fun an antics is equally matched.  They are both sweet & ornery. 
Aunt Ashley is an angel of light holding Cora.  I have a whole family of these celestial beings. 
And lastly, the feast!

 

With the baby humans tucked in bed, I sat on the couch to scribble out my feelings of self pity in my journal. (blah blah blah)   Zander was cruising the Internet, soaking up information.  He is a living, breathing sponge. 

And our friend the grasshopper was playing a melody on the guitar.  No, seriously he really was.  He actually plucked a string.  I think it was A.  He was very surprised himself that he could play.  I encouraged an encore, but he humbly bowed out of my request.  His hands but filamentary wisps managed to pluck out a single, beautiful note.  Honestly, I've been out performed.   

 

One night, Zander was disgusted to find him roaming the house at free will.  He told me to get rid of him or else!  Zander's brutality is appalling and his cowardliness before a dainty creature is laughable.  I think our guest was sitting on the couch and I was saying that I would not let him die in my house when he hopped on the crown of my head in a pile of messy hair.   He was very grateful for the safe perch.  I carefully escorted him out the front door like any respectable hostess would do.

People, please, I do have boundaries.

No.
Mice
Cockroaches
Scorpions
Mosquitos
Flies
Gnats
Silverfish

Wow.  This list is getting lengthy. 
Those are the only ones that I feel threaten our urban desert dwelling. 
Otherwise, welcome God's creepy crawly creatures. 

*I do reserve the right to redact everything I claimed on this post if any one of my VIP guest should turn on me.

 those lips, oh those sweet lips!


On Mother's Day, Zander let me sleep in, while he took the critters.  I trust Zander completely with the well being of our children.  Granted, he might not do things my way, and when I get upset with him, its not because he screwed up the kids, but he threatened my control and challenged my routine.
I walk into the kitchen and find Ender and Zander scribbling away at a mothers day gift and Cora is gurgling happily in her bouncy seat.  Ender is fed and Cora has poop soaking through her onesie and didn't do any tummy time.

"um, zander...were you going to change Cora's pants?"
"oh!  that's poop?!  I thought it was part of her outfit, like a ruffle."

the babes were so peaceful and happy that morning with zander.  he helps me learn to relax around them.  I'm so afraid that if I screw up just once, it sets off a chain of events where ender winds up incarcerated and cora on the street corner.  Like by the age of 6. 

the following is a story zander and ender style.

 There once was a happy family... Then a fire breathing dragon came and took mama away.

Prince Ender tracks the dragon and the victim to his lair.

 "I fight you dragon!"

 "Chop! Chop" With two little chops, the dragon's head comes clean off.

Mama and ender are reunited.   

 

Ender likes to lounge on Nana's and Papa's couch like Lula.  He also likes to kiss like Lula and eat treats like Lula.

 

  

 

Lula.

 

 

Cora.  Lump of sugary goodness.  I like her a lot!  Except, she begins to unfurl her petals at 5:45 every morning.  I think her man farts wake her up.   

 

No kids.  Your father wasn't a single parent.  This is me, your mother.  I am not an aunt or long distance cousin or your daddy's on and off again girlfriend.   The lady you see every now and again in photos of your childhood is your biological mom... stay at home mom. 

This said, just in case the sweet chariot swings low and carries me home sooner than expected, and you need proof.  Daddy NEVER, well, hardly EVER takes pictures of us together.    So here you have it!  Thanks Papa
for the photo :)

after another one of my deep and great sighs over the construction site that is our yard, he said

"Look I promise you.  Our backyard will be your most favorite backyard.  It will be full of character and charm.  Its just not about grass.  Do you just want someone to come and plop some grass and trees down and call it beautiful? (he mimes this with a few junior high bathroom noises..??)  
It will be like the elves came and designed it their way". (Insert sorcery hand motions and a rendition of elvish tongue- that is an uncanny resemblance to his Uncle Scott speaking in tongues if he were to).

continuing... he's on a roll

"Its like this.  I am a spider.  And my yard is my web.  You forget that I'm here and then one day stumble upon my masterpiece.  And I just keep spinning"

This guy has so much gumption.  Definition please.  - Shrewd or spirited initiative and resourcefulness.

*Bless his heart.  9:15pm and he is out digging a trench to lay underground conduit. 

3 months

lumpy here is always getting mistaken for a boy.  bless her bippy.  

one afternoon this week ender woke up from his siesta having somehow morphed into a rabid and weeping little monkey.  He was relentless with his tantrums.  It came time to feed Cora and he began to sob uncontrollably, "hold me, hold me!"  But I just couldn't.  So he climbed on whatever lap I had left to share (as I was nursing the little girl) and laid his head on Cora's back and held on to her so he wouldn't roll off (she's sturdy:) His head was conveniently resting near her rump when she let out the longest and loudest fart, right in her brother's tear streaked face.  He immediately stopped crying and started laughing and was such a happy fellow the rest of the day. 
I hate to say this, but I just might have to teach her to fart on demand for when I need a little help with the eldest. 

I wish for these lovely little folk to come and clasp my hand around the May pole. 
Does anyone else have a bipolar two year old they are raising?  To spin with the elves would be a blessed break.